Hinotama
by Banjodog
Summary: Dedicated to Ocean. While suffering from insomnia one night, Yuugi asks Yami a few questions and contemplate the consciousness of the Puzzle. Y/Y


Hinotama  
  
Rating: R  
  
Disclaimer: Yu-Gi-Oh and all related characters therein do not belong to me. No copyright infringement is intended.   
  
Summary: Dedicated to Ocean.   
  
Author's Note: I wrote this specifically for you, Ocean, because I know that you were having a bad night the other night. There is some Sprite-y goodness for you.  
  
/Yuugi speaking through the mind link/  
  
//Yami speaking through the mind link//  
  
Hinotama--Magic Card. Effect: Inflicts 500 points of Direct Damage to your opponent's Life Points.   
  
~*~  
  
Yuugi sat cross-legged on his bed, staring solemnly at the Millennium Puzzle, which was lying a few feet in front of him. He was tired--the clock on his dresser read 3:03 AM--and his eyes were red and his body was shaking, yet he could not sleep. This went beyond insomnia. This was--  
  
//What troubles you, Hikari?// a deep voice questioned in his mind as two arms wrapped around him from behind. Yuugi made no movement, not awarding a glance back even as he felt a gentle nuzzling on his neck.   
  
//Please, Hikari. Please answer me. I cannot see you like this,// Yami implored gently as he tried to get Yuugi to lean back into his touch.   
  
"Why do you scream?" Yuugi asked after a long silence. Yami froze.  
  
//I was not aware that I did.//  
  
"You dream. You dream of your death and I, like the good little hikari I am, take the burden for you. You end up with a dreamless night and yet you scream. Why?"  
  
Yami pulled away from Yuugi and walked over to the window. Yuugi did not look at him. He just stared at the Puzzle.   
  
//I never asked you to--//  
  
"Please answer my question, Yami," Yuugi interrupted. Yami sighed deeply and rested his forehead against the glass.   
  
//The Puzzle....it's not...fond of me,// he admitted, choosing his words carefully. Yuugi finally tore his gaze away from the gleaming, golden item and slowly looked up at Yami.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
//When I died, the Puzzle kept my soul from going to Hell, as I had been sentenced. 'Saved' me, if you will. But I had fought against it, wanting to truly die. I hated the Puzzle for not leaving me be. I hated it....and soon it hated me.//  
  
".......It doesn't hate you," Yuugi stated. Yami frowned and turned to him.   
  
//What makes you--// he stopped as he noticed an odd blankness in Yuugi's eyes. An eerie silence filled the air.  
  
"Damn you," Yami whispered with no lack of loathing.   
  
"It doesn't hate you," Yuugi repeated. Yami growled savagely and lept forward, effectively pinning Yuugi to the bed beneath him. He bared his teeth, lightly shaking Yuugi.   
  
"Leave him alone!" he shouted. "Get out of his head! Take your vengeance out on me! Do what you will! BUT LEAVE HIM ALONE!"  
  
"It doesn't hate you."  
  
Yami snarled and grabbed the Puzzle, which had fallen to the floor. He gripped the edges and began to pound it against the wall, creating large dents in the drywall. Only Yuugi could actually break the Puzzle, but he could cause it some damage.  
  
"Damn you! Damn you! DAMN YOU!!! You will leave him alone! Let him be or else I swear I will find a way to destroy you once and for all! Damn you!"  
  
Yami's hands were torn from holding the corners of the Puzzle, but he did not stop until he felt a gentle touch on his shoulder.   
  
"Yami, what are you doing?" Yuugi asked gently. Yami dropped the bloodied Puzzle and drew Yuugi tightly into his arms. He buried his face into Yuugi's chest and sobbed quietly, one of only two times that Yuugi had ever seen him cry. Yuugi hugged back, resting his cheek against the top of Yami's head.   
  
"I hate it," Yami snapped the words, gripping the back of Yuugi's pajamas. "I hate it. Why does it torture me? What did I do that so *awful*..."  
  
They remained like that for a long time before Yuugi spoke again.   
  
"Come on, Yami. Let's go downstairs," he said and helped Yami to stand up. "I'm sure there's something in the kitchen we can steal."  
  
**  
  
Yami sat down at the table while Yuugi went to the pantry and pulled out a small can and can opener. Also grabbing a few sodas and some forks, he walked back to the table and sat across from Yami. Yami watched him as he opened the can.   
  
"Is that tuna?" he finally asked. Yuugi grinned and nodded, digging his fork into the canned fish and began to eat.   
  
"Give me some," Yami said and reached for a fork. Yuugi pushed the can to the center of the table so they could both reach. Yami took small bites occasionally, his expression flat and unreadable. Yuugi thought it best to leave him alone until he spoke first.   
  
"I feel I must....apologize, Yuugi. It was unacceptable for me to break down like that. However, you can't understand what it's like...the Puzzle..."  
  
Yuugi paused, holding the fork between his lips.   
  
"Well, I'm not going to tell you that I know how you feel when it comes to the Puzzle, Yami. But maybe that's what will be the best. It would be like me walking down the street and finding you stuck in a man hole. I can't help you if I'm down there with you. I think that...that perhaps you should really think about what the Puzzle really is, rather than just your prison."  
  
"I've been thinking about that for three thousand years, Yuugi. You cannot explain the Puzzle. It's impossible. It's almost like, like it's alive, and yet it...it has no consciousness. I've felt curiosity coming from it, but nothing else. I can't understand it. It *knows*...it has sent my fears to me to test my reaction. My fears of...you. You and your rejection of me. And I'm sorry. Sorry for ever getting involved in those cursed Shadow Games. Sorry for ever thinking I could rule Egypt. Sorry that I was ever born. Sorry for bringing this upon you, Yuugi. You must hate the burden," Yami said softly, staring down at the grain on the wood table.Yuugi sighed and put his fork down on the table.   
  
"Well, all I know about that is that I asked Grandpa for a Beagle. But NOOO...*he* said--"  
  
Yuugi never got to finish his sentence before Yami growled and lept forward to pull Yuugi to the floor. He pinned Yuugi beneath him again and leaned forward to rest his forehead against Yuugi's.   
  
"How did I live without you?" he whispered.  
  
"You didn't," Yuugi pointed out. Yami chuckled and closed his eyes in contentment. He stayed like that for a long time and when Yuugi had thought that Yami had fallen asleep, the former pharaoh spoke.  
  
"Yuugi?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"Your breath smells like tuna."  
  
"*Beagles* like tuna," Yuugi answered back defensively. Yami smirked and closed the gap between them, drawing Yuugi into a deep kiss. Yuugi's eyes widened in surprise at the action, making Yami's own crimson ones sparkle in amusement. He entertwined Yuugi's fingers with his own and pushed his tongue into Yuugi's mouth. Yuugi closed his eyes against the feeling and even tentatively brushed his own tongue against Yami's.   
  
Yami groaned and squeezed his inner thighs around Yuugi's hips, causing Yuugi to arch slightly up into him. Yami released one of Yuugi's hands and ran his up underneath Yuugi's pajama shirt, raking his nails across Yuugi's stomach and causing the muscles to quiver beneath the skin.   
  
Feeling his lungs begin to burn, Yami tore his mouth away and began planting kisses underneath Yuugi's jaw. He kissed his way up to Yuugi's ear and smiled.  
  
"So they do," he said.   
  
Yuugi whimpered and nuzzled against Yami's hair. It smelled of the desert: dry and sandy, with a mixture of sun-dried spices and sweetness of exotic fruits and honey.   
  
Yuugi let the thought drift down the link, and Yami laughed.   
  
//If I am the desert, Hikari, then you are a northern woods filled with greenery, life, and water. My little one.//  
  
Yuugi wrapped his arms around Yami's neck, his eyes filling with tears for an uknown reason.   
  
/My Yami./  
  
//Nothing will part us, Yuugi. Not life, not death, not God...not even the Puzzle. I swear it.//  
  
Yami kissed Yuugi deeply again, pouring every ounce of passion he had into it. He then scooped Yuugi up into his arms and staggered over to the couch--as upstairs was too far-- and dropped Yuugi amongst the pillows.   
  
//Tesoro mio,// Yami whispered reverently through the mind link as he stared down at his hikari. Yuugi raised an eyebrow in amusement.  
  
/You've gotten into my Italian books again, haven't you?/   
  
Yami shrugged.   
  
//Well they were just lying there and I didn't have anything else to do.//  
  
/Next thing I know, you'll read my European Literature book and start--/  
  
//Doubt thou the stars are fire, doubt that the sun doth move--//  
  
Yuugi quickly grabbed a pillow and hit Yami in the shoulder with it. Yami gave him an indignant look before picking up a second pillow and hitting Yuugi back.   
  
//Attack and Recieve.//  
  
/I'm cutting back on your duel time, Yami,/ Yuugi laughed and stood up.   
  
"Where do you think you're going?" Yami purred and instantly pulled Yuugi back down into his lap. Yuugi sighed contentedly and melted into Yami's arms, tucking his head underneath the pharaoh's chin. He traced designs into Yami's arms as Yami gave the occasional kiss to Yuugi's hair, both quite content to remain like that for the rest of the night.   
  
/You know what, Yami?/  
  
//What?//  
  
/Though I'm sure it would have been lower maintanence, I'm glad I didn't get a Beagle./  
  
//I'm going to take that as a compliment.//  
  
/Good./  
  
Yami paused and embraced Yuugi tighter.   
  
//How did I die?//  
  
/What?/   
  
//You said that I dream of my death so you take it to yourself. How did I die?//  
  
/Yami, I don't know if--/  
  
//Please tell me.//  
  
Yuugi closed his eyes, an expression of pain crossing his face as though he were recalling something particularly unpleasant.  
  
".....It was in a large, underground stone room. Very dark, except for the fact that there were torches all along the walls. I think that there were other people there, but I can never really make out their faces. You stood by yourself in the middle of the room, dressed in your finest. Someone...said something....I can't ever really hear or see anyting apart from you...and....you started screaming. You stayed standing, as though you couldn't do otherwise and then...../  
  
//Continue.//  
  
"Your soul was taken from your body. But it wasn't done as you see in the movies...you know, all through the mouth or something. Your soul was forced out through every pore in your body. Rivers of blood followed it as though the departing soul had created countless pinpricks. There was blood everywhere. It came out through the base of every hair strand, through your eyes and skin....underneath your nails and out your ears. Blood. And you were screaming. Bleeding to death even as your soul left your body. Your body....stayed standing....balanced under its own weight and your head was still facing forward. Your eyes had rolled back into your head, but the whites were turned red from the blood. Your whole body was covered in blood. Not one inch was untouched. Finally, someone stepped forward and pushed their finger against your forehead to knock you over. You were dead."  
  
Yuugi finished, looking down at the floor and wanting nothing more than to purge the image from his mind for good.   
  
Yami stayed silent.   
  
"Yuugi," he said softly after feeling his hikari begin to shake. "Yuugi, it's okay. I'm all right. I'm here."  
  
"You were in such *pain*.....such pain. And no one *did* anything to help. They just stood there, watching, and...and..."  
  
Yami frowned and turned Yuugi around in his lap so that they were facing each other.   
  
"Yuugi, look at me," he ordered gently. Yuugi did as he was told, turning large, shining violet eyes up at him. Yami reached up and brushed a golden bang away to tuck behind Yuugi's ear.   
  
"I'm all right. But why did you do that to yourself? You shouldn't, at least not without sharing the burden."  
  
"I-I didn't think you should have to see your own death. It would be--" Yuugi paused, searching for the right word.  
  
"I know, Yuugi. I know. It would be...odd...but to see you in pain because of me hurts far worse than anything the Puzzle could throw at me," Yami replied, staring deeply into Yuugi's eyes. He wanted to leave no room for doubt.   
  
"Do you think that maybe....the Puzzle could help?" Yuugi asked. Yami grabbed the sides of Yuugi's face and brought them to within an inch of each other and studied his expression closely.   
  
"It's really *me,* Yami. Honest. It knows you suffer, and it wants to help."  
  
"The Puzzle knows nothing. And it doesn't care. So stop giving it attributes it doesn't have," Yami said harshly and moved Yuugi off of him to stand up.   
  
"Yami, please," Yuugi pleaded, reaching out a hand to stop him from walking away. "Even if only to get rid of the dreams, at least try."  
  
//Very well, Hikari. I will try,// Yami agreed and walked back upstairs to rest in the one place that could never give him peace. Yuugi sighed and leaned back on the couch, shaking his head as he repeated out loud the words his grandfather had said a while back.  
  
"I don't think you're ready for a Beagle, Yuugi. They take lots of work and require lots of attention--"  
  
//I heard that.//  
  
~*~  
  
FIN  
  
Tesoro mio: Italian for "my treasure."  
  
Sorry, Ocean, for not putting in a whole lot of Sprite-y goodness. Stupid plots always ruin my fics!! Thank you everyone for reading! 


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